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Posts Tagged ‘complexity’

With all the demands on our time to keep up with exponential complexity, it seems that moving forward with our personal development, business and career goals are perennially postponed.

Sometimes we get lucky and are our day-to-day activities actually produces a much sought after goal without a conscious strategy.  But we hardly know how to replicate those circumstances as we perceive them outside of our control.  For example, the proverbial: I was asked to work on this project by my boss because no one else wanted it and I did it.  I earned a reputation in the company, received a promotion, bonuses and was then hired by a competitor double for  my salary. Something like that….. 🙂

When it comes to goals, some people are quite capable of just ignoring everything and everyone to accomplish a goal. They have to make up later for having few friends or an estranged spouse and family. It seems that every time you commit to a goal with single-minded purpose, sacrifices to the god of accomplishment are needed.  Maybe not as dramatic as a virgin, or a first-born, but some aspect of your free time for recreation or relationships is sacrificed to make a focused and committed leap towards accomplishing a goal.  Some have solved this by turning their hobbies into work and their friends come from the same pool of activities.  Either way, one must let go of one’s previous friends and activities to make this change.

I was in a lifeline group of 4.  On the whole, we were weak at holding each other accountable. It seemed no one wanted to alienate the others by firmly holding them accountable to their goals. Maybe this was driven by a secret desire not to be held accountable ourselves. 😉   Despite some measurable success, it is no surprise that our year long lifeline group lost a key member last week.

Holding someone accountable is a genuine skill. It requires creating enough discomfort in the person whilst not alienating them or shaming them. It requires creativity in knowing how to help your friend or colleague solve the problem and inspire them to consistent action. There has to be some level of respect for each other and discomfort to NOT comply.  What is clear is that trust is an essential aspect of being held accountable. Trust that allows you to know that they are not trying to hurt you, but to help you. Trust to know they want you to succeed as much as you do. Trust to know that you’re safe and can be vulnerable without results being compromised.

When all of these elements are present, that relationship is priceless! May you inspire and invite someone to care enough to hold you accountable.

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